A New Beginning
by peachy15
Summary: Sequal to Feelings Found.
1. A New Beginning

Nine years. It had been nine long years since Lillian Deville had last spoken to her friends in high school. It had been nine long years since the night where her parents first told her and her brother that their mother had cancer. Now, nine years later, Lil was going to have to face the friends she had grown apart from once again. She was going back to the town she had tried so hard to get away from.

Lil was driving through the pouring rain. It was late. That didn't matter. What mattered was the frantic phone call she had received just hours earlier. The phone call with Phil sobbing uncontrollably on the other end, begging his sister to come down, pleading with her to put the past behind and just come home.

_Home_. Was that where she was going? Home. The place she had left, _abandoned_, so many years ago. She was going back. She was going home to face her worst fear.

The rain pounded on Lil's car. The thunder rumbled, shaking the ground beneath. Lightning flashed, making clear the path Lil had to travel. She was almost there. Almost to the exist. Almost _home_.

Lil pulled into the strangely familiar drive way. It was late. It was _very_ late. But she had gotten there as fast as she could. And that's all that mattered.

Lil slipped her key into the door, careful not to wake anyone if they weren't already up. It was dark in the house. Someone put a hand on her shoulder and Lil stifled a scream.

"Phil." Lil collapsed into his arms. The twins cried together, just like they did nine years ago when they found out about their mother. "I'm so sorry." Lil cried.

Phil nodded. "Don't be sorry for me, Lil. Be sorry for yourself, too."

Lil noticed a tall figure standing in the doorway.

"Daddy." She breathed. Howard walked up to his children and joined in their hug. The three stood there for a long time, hugging and crying _together_.

................................................................................................

It was the next morning. Lil woke up, almost forgetting where she was. It had been so long since she slept in her old bed. She had forgotten how comfortable it was.

Lil forced herself up. No matter how much she didn't want to do this she knew that she _had_ to. Not for herself, but for Phil. For her father. For her _mother_.

Lil finished her shower and slipped into a long, floral dress. She took stuck a pink bow in her long, chestnut colored hair. She took her time walking down the stairs. She wanted to stall today as much as she could.

"Hey." She said softly to Phil and gave him a hug. "You look good." She admired her brother in his soft, light blue suit.

"So do you."

Howard smiled weakly. "Lilly, are you going to eat something before we leave?"

Lil shook her head. "Um...I don't think my stomach would be able to handle very much right now. Sorry dad."

Howard nodded and gave his daughter a reassuring smile. "I understand. I don't think anyone could eat today."

Phil sighed. "So, are we ready?"

Lil shook her head again. "I don't think I'll ever be ready for today."

Phil took Lil's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

...............................................................................................

Howard, Phil, and Lil stood silently in the first pew of the church. They listened intently as the priest gave a eulogy. Lil's eyes searched the room. She recognized some cousins and aunts and uncles. She saw her grandparents. She saw some people that she _didn't_ recognize but figured worked with her mom before she started the Java Lava. Lil's gaze fell upon a group of people sitting in a pew. For a second, Lil wondered why they were here. Then she remembered Phil and Howard.

'They didn't come for me.'

Lil's gaze shifted back to the alter. She saw Phil up there. He was about to give his speech.

"Betty Deville was a devoted mother and wife. She was a friend to-"

"Dad, I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Lil rushed out of the chapel as fast as she could. She could feel the eyes of everyone in that room on her back. That didn't stop her from getting as far away from there as possible.

Lil opened the bathroom door and shut it. She ran the faucet and splashed the cold, refreshing water on her hot face.

'Get a grip Lil. You knew this day was going to come. Calm down. You have to be the strong one.'

By the time Lil had calmed herself down and left the bathroom, the chapel was empty, except for one person. Lil walked up to her.

"Kimi?"

Kimi turned around.

"They went to the cemetery. I waited for you."

Lil nodded.

"Um...Lil? I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to save our friendship. And I'm sorry about Betty. She was like a mother to all of us."

"Thanks Kimi. I know that I was a-"

"Shhh. Let's just leave the past as the past, okay Lil?"

Lil's eyes teared up. She nodded.

Kimi took her hand. "Ready?"

................................................................................................

Kimi and Lil made it to the cemetery just as the hearse pulled up.

Lil hesitated.

"Are you ready Lil?" Kimi asked her.

"I don't know if I can do this, Kimi. I mean, watching my mother get buried _and_ face the gang after this many years? I don't know."

"Lil, it's your mother's funeral. Sometimes you have to put everything behind you and deal with what's more important, which poses the big question. What's more important? Paying your final respects to your mother or what everyone thinks about you?"

Lil sighed. "I know. I know. God! You probably think I'm the most cold- hearted, selfish, self absorbed, -"

"I think you're human, Lil." Lil smiled.

"Let's go."

Lil and Kimi walked hand in hand over to wear the last respects were being paid to Betty.

.............................................................................................

"Hey, Kimi. Thanks for coming."

"No problem, Phil." Kimi looked into Phil's eyes. It was at that moment that she was able to fully see the pain in he had been bottling up for all these years. Kimi reached a hand out and stroked the side of Phil's face.

It was then that he grasped her hand and cried.

"Shhh." Kimi soothed. "It's okay. I'm here."

Kimi loosened her hand from Phil's grasp and wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to cry on her shoulder.

............................................................................................

"Lil, I'm going to go home now, okay." Howard told his daughter. "I think that if I stay here, I won't be able to let go."

Lil nodded. "I understand. I think I'll stay late though. I owe mom that much."

...........................................................................................

"Lil, we're gonna leave now, okay?" Phil asked his sister. It had gotten pretty late now. They had buried Betty a while ago by now and there were only a couple people left.

"Okay." Lil said softly.

"Do you want a ride?" Kimi asked her friend kindly.

Lil shook her head. "No. I'm going to stay here a while."

"Are you going to be okay?" Kimi asked. "Will you need any company?"

Lil looked around. If Kimi and Phil left she would be the only one left.

"No. I'll be fine."

Kimi gave Lil a hug before she and Phil took off.

.............................................................................................

Lil sat down near where her mother was buried. It was getting late.

"Hey, mom." Lil choked. She tried to hold back the tears. Her mother was the one who told her crying was a sign of weakness. Betty never cried. She was always so strong. Lil always wanted to be just like her. But now...

"Mom, I made it. I know it's been a long time since we saw each other. Six years. That's a long time to wait. I don't know, I guess I was afraid to come home. Home. It sounds kind of funny hearing it from me, I know. And I know there's no excuse. Afraid or not. You're probably thinking 'Afraid of what?' I was afraid of what you guys thought of me after I left, like a coward. That's not how you raised us, and yet, that's all I turned out to be. A coward. There was a time when I was in love. I guess that's another thing that scared me. I was too afraid to admit that I was in love. It scared me to death, mom. It scared me to think that I was in love with someone and the thought of them loving me back scared me even more. Tommy Pickles. Huh? I really screwed that up. It's been nearly ten years since he spoke to me. I don't blame him, though. Could you? Mom, I really miss him. I miss the rest of my old friends. I miss you, mom." Lil's tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why did you do this? Why did you leave? You can never see me walk down the aisle when I get married. You'll never see your grandchildren. Or your great- grandchildren."

As Lil sat there, someone place a hand on her shoulder.

"Lil? I'm really sorry about your mom."

Lil looked up into the eyes of the boy she once loved. Tommy Pickles. He wasn't the boy she used to know. He was a man now.

"Tommy." Lil breathed.

Tommy nodded. He sat down next to her, leaving his arms open for her to fall into. Lil took advantage of the offer and buried her head into his chest and cried.

"She lied to me, Tommy. My mom lied to me." Lil sobbed.

"Shh- shhh." Tommy soothed. "What are you talking about?"

"She told me- she told me and Phil that it wasn't serious... She said that they didn't give her an estimated time of death... She said that she wouldn't leave us."

Tommy stroked the side of Lil's face, wiping away the remaining tears, just like he did nine years ago at her birthday party.

Tommy allowed Lil to lie against him. He ran his fingers up and down her back in a comforting manner.

"Tommy?" Lil whispered through her tears. "Why are you here?"

"Why am I here?" Tommy repeated. "I'm here because I knew Betty. I'm here because I'm friends with Phil. And...for the most obvious reason. I'm here because I knew you would be here. After I found out that your mom died...well that just showed me that life is short. Lil...I want to make things right between us."

"Tommy-"

"And, I just think that you should know- I _never_ stopped loving you."

"Tommy- you shouldn't have said that."

"It's true. And you know it is. I _know_ you know it is."

"Tommy, I know that I was a com-"

"Lil...could we please just put the past behind us? We both know what you did was, for lack of a better word, rotten. But, you know, your mom just died. I think that we owe each other what we never had together. I don't know about you- but I've changed."

Lil nodded. "Me too." She said softly.

The two sat in silence for a long time giving their final respects to Betty.

Finally, Tommy stood up.

"Are you ready?" He asked as he held out his hand to Lil.

Lil nodded. "I'm ready."

Lil took Tommy's hand and the two of them walked away together, not once looking back at what haunted them in their past.


	2. Young Love

Six months later Lillian Deville turned over in her bed and smiled.

"Good morning, sleepy head." Tommy said softly as he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"Mmm." Lil moaned. "Good morning."

Tommy twisted Lil's hair gently through his fingers.

"I still can't believe...that I'm sleeping in the same bed as the most beautiful..."

Tommy kissed Lil on the cheek.

"...kind..." Tommy kissed her on the opposite cheek. "...smart..." he kissed her again on the nose. "...and absolutely amazing woman in the world." Tommy finished, finding his way to Lil's lips.

"Tommy." Lil finally said, breaking the kiss. "What did I tell you about kissing me first thing in the morning? Ever hear of a little thing called morning breath?"

Tommy grinned. "Your breath smells fine, sweetie. I mean, you could use a mint, but..."

Lil interrupted him with a wap in the face of her pillow.

"I wasn't talking about _my_ breath." She protested, jumping out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Tommy asked, squinting and shielding his eyes from the sunlight that now lit the room as Lil opened the blinds in their apartment.

"What do you mean?" Lil asked.

Tommy turned and looked at the alarm clock on the side table. He frowned.

"It's only seven-o-clock."

"I know, but I have a doctor's appointment at eight. You can go back to sleep, though, sweetie. I just have to take a shower."

Lil grabbed some clothes that were neatly folded in the bureau that the two shared. She took her hair down.

Tommy's eyes widened and he sat up in bed.

"I'm up now. And you know, if we're both going to take a shower this morning, there's no point in wasting hot water..." Tommy's voice trailed off and his eyes had a spark when he looked up at Lil.

Lil laughed and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms tenderly around his neck.

"Are you suggesting something?" She asked, seductively.

Tommy placed his hands on Lil's hips. The single touch sent a tingling sensation

throughout Lil's entire body.

"I think so." Tommy replied, anxiety riding his eyes.

Within the next fifteen minutes, the only sound that could be heard in that apartment was

running water and giggling.

"This is nice." Tommy said as the two of them stood together in the steamy

bathroom. Lil was standing in front of the mirror in her robe and Tommy had his chin

rested on her shoulder. His strong arms were wrapped around her small waist. Lil slipped

her fingers through his and Tommy rocked back and forth.

"Tommy?" Lil asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"I...I love you."

"I know... I love you too."

Lil smiled and Tommy wrapped his arms tighter around her.

............................................................................................

Lil sat in the doctor's office waiting for the doctor to see her.

As she was flipping through a magazine the door opened. A tall, elderly man entered the

room, carrying with him a clipboard.

"Lillian! How are you?"

Lil smiled timidly. "I'm fine. How are you?"

The doctor nodded. "Good. Good. So, you're not sick, are you? No broken bones?"

Lil shook her head and looked down at her feet. "Um...I actually came here to have a

pregnancy test done."

The doctor nodded again. "Alright. Come with me."


	3. Breaking News

Lil quietly opened the front door that led into her and Tommy's small apartment.

It was four-o-clock in the afternoon. She didn't hear anything.

Lil made her way into the kitchen. She took out a glass and filled it with water. Before she could take a sip she heard a bang.

"Where were you?" Tommy asked calmly, standing in the doorway. His eyes showed a look of anger and pain.

"I told you- I had a doctor's appointment."

Tommy looked at his watch. "Your appointment lasted eight hours?"

Lil looked at him with tired eyes.

"Tommy...I think you best sit down. I have to tell you something."

Tommy sighed, but he obeyed. He walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. Lil sat in front of him on top of the coffee table.

"Tommy..." She started, taking his hands into hers. "There's something that you should know."

Tommy groaned and threw his head back; making it hit the backboard of the couch. He knew this was not good news. Tommy braced himself for the worst. He was just waiting for to hear that the love of his life, Lillian Deville, was cheating on him with another man.

"Tommy...I'm two months pregnant. We're having a baby!" Lil's eyes were filling up with tears and her voice was sweet as ever.

Tommy's jaw dropped. He didn't know whether he should be relieved that his wife wasn't cheating on him or...or what?

Tommy jumped up from the couch.

He lifted Lil up as high as he could and spun her around.

"We're having a baby! We're having a baby!" He shouted. "I'm gonna be a daddy!"

"Tommy!" Lil shrieked. "Put me down!"

Tommy chuckled and he placed her on the floor, still holding her close. "Lil, we're gonna have our own family!" He whispered into her hair. "We're gonna be parents!"

"I know." Lil said. Her voice was happy and cheerful, as it always was. But her expression said otherwise.

"This calls for a celebration! Should we call the gang?" He asked her, breaking the hug.

Lil shook her head. "No. We should wait. Let it be a surprise."

Tommy nodded. "Right. You're absolutely right. It should be a surprise. What was I thinking? You know what? Dinner. I'll take you out to dinner tonight. We'll have a romantic dinner at that knew fancy restaurant across town. Oh! And then we can go shopping for baby clothes and a crib and little, itty- bitty, cute toys! What's the sex of the baby, anyway?"

Lil stifled a laugh. She didn't expect Tommy to be this excited. "I don't know yet. But you know what? Dinner sounds great. Why don't we just take it one step at a time?"

"Your right, sweetie. I'm sorry. You must be pretty stressed out." Tommy wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in and embrace. He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you so much. And you know this baby is going to get all the love in the world." Tommy murmured softly.

"I know." Lil whispered.


	4. Surprise!

Tommy sat across from Lil in their secluded seats in the restaurant.

"Oh my god!" Lil breathed.

Tommy smiled.

"Tommy...It's beautiful." Lil looked around the restaurant and admired what she saw. There was a small waterfall with a stone border. The lights were dimmed. And Tommy had even managed to get a violinist to play for them.

"I know." Tommy grinned.

"But...How did you...When did you...When did you do this?" Lil stuttered.

"I have my ways." Tommy kept grinning.

"But...How are you going to pay for this?"

Tommy took Lil's hand in his and smiled. "You don't worry about that. This is for you." Tommy kissed Lil's hand.

"Oh...Tommy. Thank you." Lil whispered.

"Sir? Madam? Are you ready to order?" A very sophisticated waiter asked.

"Um, yes. Yes we are." Tommy said. "Lil, sweetie, what would you like?"

Lil glanced at her menu. "I'll have the garden salad, please."

Tommy gave Lil a fierce look. "Lil, this is a celebration. Do you really want a garden salad? I could make that for you at home."

Lil shook her head. "I don't want to cost you too much money."

"Sweetie. I told you not to worry about it. Now, order whatever it is that you want."

Tommy and Lil had just finished their dessert and were finishing up their night with a conversation.

"Lil? There's something I've been meaning to ask you." Tommy told her.

Tommy stood up and walked over to her. He kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his.

"Lillian Marie Jill Deville. I have been in love with you since forever. There is no one in the world who I would rather spend my life with more than I want to spend it with you; and there is no one in the world as in love with one person as I am right now. I know that we've had some difficulties in the past, but I'm more than willing to put the past behind me if it means never losing you again. Lil, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much."

Lil's eyes were filling with tears and she couldn't help but let a few fall down her cheeks.

"Lillian...Will you marry me?"

With that last sentence Tommy took out a ring and placed it on Lil's finger.

Lil gazed at the ring on her finger and back at Tommy.

Tommy didn't think she could ever look more beautiful than she did now. The way her hair shined and the way her tears made her eyes sparkle made her look like an absolute angel.

"Tommy...I...I..." Lil began in nothing short of a whisper. "I accept."

Tommy grinned ear from ear. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her slender body.

"Lillian Deville..." He whispered into her hair. "I'm pretty sure you just made me the happiest man alive."

Tommy could her crying into his shoulder.

Tommy slipped the check onto the table and led Lil out of the restaurant.

Rather than take a cab home, they silently agreed to walk. The walk was quiet.

"Tommy..." Lil said, breaking the deafening silence building between them.

"Yes?"

"Why...Why do you want to marry me? I mean, it was only six months ago that we were reunited and before that we hadn't spoken to each other for almost ten years. And, let's face it Tommy, I was a bitch to you in tenth grade. I mean, I used you, I abused you, I..."

"Lil..." Tommy interrupted her. "I told you before that I'm putting that in the past. I know you were a bitch then and I also know it was a mistake and you regret it. But, you know what? I've loved you for twenty-five years, even after you left. And I'm gonna keep loving you." Tommy leaned down and kissed her head.

"I know." Lil whispered. "I just don't understand why."

Tommy didn't hear her though; he was looking into a wedding shop. His eyes glistened with pure joy.

"Lil, look at that." He said to, beckoning her over to him.

Lil, still overjoyed at Tommy's earlier proposal, obeyed. She looked into the shop and almost gasped at what she saw. There were dozens of absolutely gorgeous wedding gowns hanging on a rack. Beyond the wedding gowns was a huge wedding cake. Mannequins gazed out the windows wearing tuxedos and the mannequins who were wearing dresses were adorned with precious pearls and diamonds.

"Tommy." Lil breathed.

Tommy whispered in her ear. "Whatever you want Lil. I'm gonna give you the perfect wedding."

Lil's eyes sparkled with more tears and as they streamed down her cheeks Tommy brushed them away.

Tommy held out his hand and Lil entwined her fingers with his.

"Let's go home, Lil." Tommy said softly, with a slight twinkle in his eye.

Lil nodded. "Okay, Tommy."

"Are you alright, Lil?" Tommy asked her as they stepped into their apartment.

Lil was standing in the middle of the living room looking a little flushed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to go use the bathroom. I'll be right there."

Tommy watched Lil walk into the bathroom, leaving the concern he felt plastered on his face.

"Come on, Kimi. Pick up." Lil said to herself as she held her cell phone to her ear. She was leaning over the sink and had the water running so Tommy wouldn't know she was calling anyone.

"_Hello?"_ Lil recognized the deep voice.

"Hey Phil. How are you?" Lil asked her brother.

There was a hesitation. _"I'm good. How are you Lil?"_

"Um...Actually, that's kind of why I called. Is Kimi there?"

There was another hesitation on the other line. _"Hold on. Let me get her."_

"Okay."

While Lil was waiting for Phil to get Kimi there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Lil? Are you okay?"

Lil nodded before realizing Tommy wouldn't be able to see her. She laughed at herself.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Lil notice the confusion in Tommy's voice when he spoke. "Well...Okay. I'm going to bed now, just to let you know."

"Alright. I'll be right out."

Lil could here Tommy's footsteps heading towards their bed and before she knew it a new voice came on the other end of the phone.

"_Hello?"_

Lil could never forget Kimi's voice.

"Hey!" Lil greeted her.

"_Lil! Oh my gosh! How are you?"_

"I'm okay. How are you?"

_"Oh, just great! Phil told me it was you but you know how he is; I didn't exactly believe him. So, what's up?"_

"Um...I just wanted to let you be the first to know...I'm engaged!"

There was yet another hesitation on the other end of the phone. The next thing Lil knew she was plugging her ears and the phone hit the ground.

"Hello?" Lil said, picking up the phone.

"_Sorry, Lil!"_ Kimi said after she was done shrieking.

"**What the hell was that?"** Lil heard her brother exclaim from the background.

_Kimi giggled. "Sorry Phil. Lil just told me..." Kimi stopped what she was about to say once she heard Lil shush her from the other line. "...She just told me that she got a promotion! Isn't that great?"_ Lil could tell that Phil was rolling his eyes and leaving the room at this point. She knew him too well. What can you expect after living eighteen years with him?

"_Oh my gosh, Lil. That's so great! It was Tommy, right?"_

Lil laughed. "Yeah it was. Speaking of Tommy, he's probably wondering what the hell I'm doing in here. I should go. Listen, I'll talk to you as soon as Tommy and I plan more of it out."

"_Gotcha." _Kimi said.

Lil sighed. "Kimi, I don't know how I lucked out with this one. I'm really at a loss. Tommy is a fantastic guy. I mean, add to his looks, he's sweet, he's funny, loyal, caring, funny, and, you know the ironic part? He loves me. He could have any girl he wanted, and he's still with me. I just don't get it. What did I do to deserve him?"

_"Sweetie, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Tommy's practically dedicated his whole life to you. Even after you...left us all...he never stopped caring. Sure he was mad, we all were, but...he loves you, Lil. Just, don't concentrate on what could have been and relish in what you do have. You're lucky, Lil. Tommy's a great guy. So is your brother."_

"You're right, Kimi. I know. Tommy and Phil are both great guys and we're both really lucky, but I have to go now. Tommy's probably getting worried. I'll talk to you soon."

_"Yeah. Call me! Take care, Lil."_

"You too."

_"Love you."_

"Love you too. Tell that to Phil for me, too?"

_"Will do."_

Lil hung up the phone and splashed some water on her face. She slipped into her pajamas and ran a brush over her teeth.

Lil tiptoed over to their bed. As she snuggled under the covers, she leaned over Tommy only to discover that he was sound asleep.

"Goodnight, sweetie." Lil whispered as she kissed Tommy on the cheek and turned out the light.


	5. Just A Bad Dream

Lil ran down the hallway. She knew someone was after her. She knew who it was, and unfortunately, it was someone she had trusted.

"No! Stop! Get away from me!" She shouted.

Lil continued to run down the halls, making sharp twists and turns as they unexpectedly switched direction. It was like a maze, and she was the rat who was forced to find her way out. But that was the problem- there was no way out.

"Lillian!" The boy sang. "You can come out; I won't hurt you. I swear." The voice was followed by a sinister laugh.

Suddenly Lil stopped. She was trapped. There was a wall blocking her from running any more. The only alternative was to go back the way she came- but there he was. Cornering her.

"Come on, Lil. I know you want to." The boy looked at her, dirty blonde hair falling into his eyes as he talked.

He caved in closer.

"Come on, Lil." He whispered in her ear. "It will be fun."

As Brad leaned away from her, his features suddenly changed, but the same malign smile remained on his face.

"Tommy!" She gasped. "No!"

Tommy's face grew soft for a moment.

"Wake up Lil." He whispered to her. "Wake up. You're living in a nightmare."

Before she knew what was happening he grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her.

"LIL!" He yelled. "WAKE UP!"

Lil sat up in bed, shaking.

"Lil, sweetie. You were having another nightmare." Tommy told her softly.

"Tommy?" She asked quietly. "What time is it?"

"Four-thirty." He answered her, brushing her hair off her forehead. "Are you alright?"

Lil nodded. "Yeah." She paused before reassuring him. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Tommy nodded, not completely believing her.

Lil smiled at him. "It was just a nightmare. That's all it was." She told both him and herself. "Just a nightmare."

Tommy kissed her on the forehead. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Lil shook her head and smiled. "No. I want to try to get back to sleep."

Tommy nodded. "Okay." He said softly.

He turned around and laid down.

Lil sighed before she did the same. But there was something bothering her. Something in her dream...

"_Wake up, Lil. You're living in a nightmare."_

Why was that bothering her so much?

Lil shook it off and squeezed her eyes shut.

There was no way she was living in a nightmare. She had great friends. A terrific father and supportive brother. She had the best fiancée, and they were expecting a baby. What more could she ask for?

Lil woke up a couple hours later. She glanced at the clock.

"7:30." She groaned.

She looked over to Tommy who was still sound asleep under the covers.

She pulled herself out of bed and grabbed clothes from her closet. She ran a hot shower.

Once Lil was through with her shower and everything else she was obligated to do before she left, she ran into the kitchen and was surprised to see Tommy sitting at the kitchen table with a full cup of coffee in front of him.

"Good morning." Lil greeted him cheerfully.

"Good morning, birthday girl!" Tommy greeted in return.. "How'd you sleep?"

Lil sighed as she got the pot of coffee boiling. "Okay I guess. How about you?"

Tommy shrugged. "I was worried about you."

Lil looked at him quickly. "I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean for you to worry."

"No. No, it's fine. It's just...you've been having nightmares periodically since we first started sleeping together. And now...now they're getting worse. Lil, are you alright?"

Lil dropped her coffee mug. "I'm fine." She laughed. "I'm just fine. You know, being raped has a big effect on most people." She said coldly as she picked up her briefcase and headed out the door.

Tommy sighed as he heard the door to their apartment slam.

"I am such an idiot." He told himself as he remembered something he had seemed to have forgotten. "Shit! Damnit! How could I forget that she was raped on her birthday? Damnit!"

Lil regretted what she had said to her husband the second it came out of her mouth.

"He was only trying to help." She sighed to herself as she stepped into a cab that stopped in front of her. "It's not his fault."

Lil got out of the cab and started her walk to her office building.

"Hey, Lil." One of her coworkers greeted her.

"Hey!"

Lil made her way to her desk and began her filing...

"Hey, Lil, we're going out to lunch. Want us to bring you something?" Linda asked.

Lil shook her head. "Nah. I'm going out in a minute. Don't wait up."

Linda smiled. "Okay. Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks."

Lil finished the last of her work before her lunch break.

Lil finished her lunch at the new Snap Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Just as she was coming out, someone was coming in.

"Ooh!" Lil gasped as she collided with the person, sending her purse flying out of her hands and onto the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." The man told her sincerely. "Let me help you with that."

The man bent down and helped Lil pick up whatever had fallen out of her purse.

"Thank you." Lil told him as he helped her up.

"No problem." He said. "I'm such a klutz. I tend to either walk into someone or drop something atleast once everyday."

They both laughed.

Lil noticed the man's crystal blue eyes and the dirty blonde hair. For some reason he looked oddly familiar...

"Well, I'm sorry that I bumped into you, Miss..."

"Deville." Lil said, interrupting her previous thoughts. "Lillian Deville."

The man looked at her thoughtfully. "Lillian. Such a pretty name for such a pretty lady."

The man smiled at her as she blushed.

"My name's James. James Garaghey. Do you think it would be out of line if I asked if I could take you out some time? I feel awful about delaying you. Someone as pretty and professional lookin' as you must have somewhere special to go."

Lil found it awfully hard to resist. He was so kind and so sympathetic...

"I'm sorry." Lil said, trying to hide the regret she was feeling. "I'm kind of seeing someone."

James' face dropped. "Oh." He stammered. "I should've known a girl like you would be seeing someone."

Lil gave him a weak smile.

"Hey. No big. Maybe I'll be lucky and bump into you again sometime." With that he gave her a wink and started his walk down the New York streets.

Lil sighed. "He was cute, too."


	6. Love You Always

"Oh my gosh!" Lil whispered as she stepped into her apartment.

It was seven-o-clock and she had just gotten done with some extra filing at work.

"Tommy?" She called, not taking her eyes off of the darkened kitchen. The small table was set up for two, having a lit candle in the middle and two glasses with a bottle of wine. There was a set of plates on the table and silverware wrapped in napkins sitting atop of each of them. She glanced to the counter and noticed different foods spread out, resembling a buffet.

She diverted her attention to the doorway, where Tommy stood, grinning, wearing a black tuxedo and holding red roses.

Lil's eyes started to tear.

"Tommy…" she choked.

"Shh." He soothed, walking toward her. "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry."

"Tommy, you didn't have to do-"

"Lil, please, this is my way of showing you I'm sorry and I love you. I never meant to hurt you this morning. I guess, all the past years with me trying to forget what happened to you, what he did to you, I guess I tried too hard. I'm sorry. I never meant for what I said to come out like that."

"Oh…Tommy." Lil whispered, laying her head against his chest. Tommy took the liberty of wrapping his arms protectively around her, guarding her from any harm that may be of danger to the one thing he held most dear in his life. They were alone in their apartment, but that didn't change the circumstances. Not to someone as in love with one person as Tommy was with Lil.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"How was your day at work today?" Lil asked Tommy.

Tommy sighed. "It was good. I just kept thinking about you, though. I could have kicked myself in the ass after what I did. I am so sorry-"

"Tommy, I think you've made up for it well enough." Lil told him, glancing around at all the food on the counter, not to mention the food currently on her plate as they ate.

"I know. I just love you so much." Tommy leaned over the table and kissed her quickly.

"How was your day?"

Lil hesitated, thinking about whether or not she should tell him about the little run in with 'James Garaghey'. Not that it was something to tell him necessarily, but the odd familiarity of him was…

"Well?" Tommy sat staring patiently at Lil, waiting for her answer.

"Oh, it was great. The girls threw me a small party in the cafeteria. Nothing big, but it was nice."

Tommy nodded, taking a bite from his spoonful of Mexican rice.

"How's dessert sound to you?" Tommy asked, picking up his plate and Lil's.

Lil smiled. "It depends. What is it?"

Tommy grinned. "My world famous strawberry-banana pancakes with raspberry syrup and a dab of cool whip."

"Mmm. Sounds delicious." She could easily remember when it was that he learned how to make them. It took years of practice to perfect them, but he did it, and they were _good_.

Lil finished clearing the table of their dinner and then went over to where Tommy was making the pancakes.

"Need any help?" She asked as she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Sure." He smiled mischievously.

He dipped his finger in the batter and trailed it down Lil's nose.

"Oh, no, Thomas Pickles! I know you didn't just do that!"

"What are you gonna do about it, huh?" He teased.

Lil placed her whole hand in the batter, scooping however much she could hold with both hands, and turned to Tommy.

"This!" She said before rubbing her hands along either side of Tommy's face and covering his face with the batter.

"Now you've asked for it!" He told her as he took her hands from his face and placed them around his neck.

"What are you gonna do?" She whispered, a hint of laughter in her voice.

He pulled her closer to him and closed the gap between them by kissing her.

The kiss became more passionate and he leaned her against the counter. He took his hands from her hips and put them into the bowl behind her, gathering still more of the batter with his hands. He moved his hands from behind her and stroked her face before gently pulling away and breaking the kiss.

Lil grinned. "You, Mr. Pickles, are very, very tricky."

"Oh yeah?"

Lil nodded. "Mmm hmm. You know something else? I find that very, very sexy."

Tommy grinned. "Oh yeah?"

Lil nodded again. "Oh yeah."

Tommy wrapped his arms around her once more and kissed her.

"I love you." Lil murmured against his chest.

"You better love me." Tommy laughed. "I just wasted a perfectly good pancake batter."

Lil smiled for a moment before a look of deep concern made its way unexpectedly on her face.

Feeling her tense up in his arms, Tommy broke the embrace.

"What's wrong?" He asked, now noticing her expression.

Lil bit her bottom lip and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Tommy? What's gonna happen with this baby? I mean, things like this won't be able to happen anymore. We're gonna be occupied with changing diapers and taking care of a crying baby boy or baby girl and I don't know-"

Tommy shushed her, knowing she was getting worked up.

"Lil, we might not be able to run around the apartment like we are now, shrieking and throwing pancake batter at each other, but, sweetie, that's just the end of some of our fun with each other. I mean, imagine the time we're going to have together raising a _baby_. Sweetie, that's big. It'll be a new adventure for us." Noticing the concern in Lil's eyes, Tommy went on. "And trust me, Lil, I love you more than anything in this world. There is nothing, and will be nothing, to keep me from taking care of you and our child. Nothing. You know me better than that, Lil."

"Tommy, I know. But, we always thought that Drew and Charlotte would stay together forever. They seemed happy. But they didn't. I'm just afraid that one day, I'll wake up and you won't be there with me. You'll have fallen in love with someone prettier than me, or smarter than me, nicer than me-"

"Stop it!" Tommy said fiercely. "That will _never_ happen, Lillian! Take my word for it and trust me when I say there is _no one_ in this _world_ prettier than you or in any way, shape, or form better than you in my eyes. That is just not possible. I promise you, Lil, you stole my heart when we were in the fifth grade, and no matter how much I may have tried to fight it in the past, there's just no way for me to get it back. You stole it and you won't give it back to me. Tell me something now, is there anyone in the world who could get in the way of fifteen years of my love for you? I tell you, Lil, God forbid something were to happen to you, say tomorrow, and you didn't make it, I still would _never_ love anyone as much as I love you. Hell, I wouldn't even try. Now, whether you like it or not, I'm gonna love you _forever_, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Oh, God, Tommy!" Lil whispered. "I love you. I wish I were as fluent as you are with my words. I feel the same way."

Tommy's eyes sparkled and he leaned down and kissed Lil again, not parting even though Lil was crying uncontrollably.


End file.
